Monday, December 28, 2020

2020

 I think there's a lot of positives that have come out of 2020, despite it being a sht show for the most part (i.e. incompetent political leaders in the U.S., police brutality/murders, racism, voter suppression, anti-Asian rhetoric, Asians targeted for hate crimes, etc.).

I wanted to do something a little different than my usual year-summary, and just do a bullet list of the things in my year I wanted to highlight. Plus, I'm a list kinda person so I find it nice to see things in clear lines across a page.

Positives

  • I got to travel a little: L.A., Princeton, Costco, the post-office... haha!
  • I got a full-time job offer!! Wooh!
  • I got a iMac from work TT^TT like whattt? 
  • I'm graduating in January 2021 :)
  • I helped out on a thesis film shoot & learned what things could look like in a pandemic-related film shoot.
  • I made peace with myself about friends that outgrow one another
  • I moved my bed in my room, and it feels much better
  • My family BBQ'd a few times
  • Global Black Lives Matter movements -- it always matters and will always matter
  • Biden won the 2020 elections
  • Kamala Harris is the first Asian American & Caribbean woman vice president
  • The orange man will be leaving the White House
  • I heard my family laugh with each other more than I expected -- mostly at Trump's idiocy
  • I learned how to bake and cook new things
    • Focaccia bread (*Adding olives makes it so good*)
    • Lemon drizzle cake
    • Some family Cantonese dishes
  • I got to watch Hamilton on Disney+ (now I can't stop singing "oceans rise, empires fALLL")
  • I'm continuing my thesis film and is collaborating with amazing people
  • I got to learn how to use new creative programs and enhance my skills in them
    • AfterEffects, Illustrator, InDesign, Photoshop, how to do Stop-Motion
  • I read some good books over the Summer
  • I donated some clothes & shoes 
  • I did yoga
  • I played Badminton with my dad, I miss the sport -- and he's still in good shape to be my competition haha
  • I got to sleep in more now that I don't have to commute

And most importantly, in a really long time... I feel happy and content. 

Of course there are ups and downs, and I try to focus on all the little things that add up and make a difference. I have my health, my family, my friends, and a passion to learn and do more. 

Here's to 2020 in all its sadness, ugliness, stress, somberness, sleeplessness, quietness, anger, hope, power, connection, unification, and everything else.

May 2021 be just as all the above too, but with direction and focus to change the world for the better. So when the sun rises tomorrow, I will be ready.

Sunday, September 6, 2020

Me. Me me me. Me.

Look at me!

Me. Me me me me. Me me. Me. Me me me. Me. Me.

The food I eat.
The things I see.
The face I wear.
The life I breathe.

Look at me!

Me me me me me me me me me me me me me.

The places I go.
The people I meet.
The things I know.
The clothes I wear.

Look at me!

Me. Me me me me. Me me. Me. Me me me. Me. Me.

The ideas I own.
The disgust I have.
The ego I carry.
The privilege I brag.

Look at me!

Me me me me me me me me me me me me me.

The power I gloat.
The gloom I flaunt.
The pity I liter.
The labor I steal.

Share. Repost. Like. Blog. Comment. React. Gossip.

Look at me!

Me. Me me me me. Me me. Me. Me me me. Me. Me.

Tuesday, June 23, 2020

Nice

It would be nice to have dry eyes when my voice gets louder, hands start clenching, veins begin bulging, and when fists start slamming.

It would be nice to have all those things on top of fire and fury.

It would be nice to unclog ears and scream for hours.

What a nice thought.

Tuesday, March 17, 2020

Hurt

Rounded backs. Sore necks. Tense veins.

Give me your rough skin and the tender flesh you hold on so tightly to.
Unfold the fist of your hand.
Let me smoothen the wrinkles of your worries.
Let me pluck the nails hammered into your shoulders.
Close those wet eyes of yours
into soft, solid, safe arms of slumber.

Give me your silver hairs and the overgrown dreams you wave away so quickly.
Uncover the blemishes of your heart.
Let me soothe your burning anger over the salted pains.
Let me caress your trembling echos over the betrayed promises.

Sink those bruised cheeks of yours 
into lush, longing, loving lips of liberation.

Cradling thighs. Lingering fingertips. Kicking tummies. 

Friday, February 28, 2020

A Little Reminder


From: Me
To: Me

Everyday, Every year

  • Tread fresh puddles in yellow socks  
  • Hold hands tightly
  • As if no one else was around
  • Trace rhythms with closed eyes
  • Insist for dry lips and morning kisses
  • Let go
  • Of your shoulders
  • Vex the stranger inside the mirror
  • Empathize with the dandelion
  • Yearn for the comfort of strong arms
  • Oversleep in them
  • Undress your heart

Friday, January 10, 2020

Only Myself to Blame

Don't break your neck.
While you're looking back.

It's easier to compare.
When you know you're not enough.

Forget who you are.
As you count all your ugly flaws.

Pin down my lips.
Tighten them with sour lies.

Wither away the green.
Let the earth crush it away.

Don't break your heart.
When you're doubting theirs.