I find it strange to think that another year has gone by so quickly.
And no one really knows how complicated time can feel until you live it. Idioms, books, and conversations about life can't capture that sense of losing time.
The incriments of change in my life only looks monumental whenever I look back. But in the moment, it feels right.
I had the fortune of my health, my family, my friends, and the opportunities that came my way. And for the mistakes that taught me lessons... as well as the reoccuring mistakes that have yet to make the lessons stick in my head haha. And that is really all I ask for.
I find it easier these past few years to enjoy the process of growing, learning, and trying again. Embasrrassment doesn't hinder me the same way and that's a big improvement in my book. I have more confidence in myself and I feel that returned too. I'm okay right now. And that is really all I ask for.
All the while of gaining some peace in myself it is always met with the opposite.
Fear and anxiety continue to run through my veins everytime I step out in the world. Afraid whether my skin, race, ethnicity, gender, or any other component of my humaness will be met with violence. And if not inflicted on myself then someone else. The staggering stories on the news can only be ignored for so long.
World issues will never be solved overnight. Afterall, humanity is trying to undo the repercussions of the past. All the while others continue their negligence and ignorance for their own bliss. It will always be a war when it comes to these moral grounds and I hope I am adding positivity somehow. If not now, when?
Things come and go.
People come and go.
We come and go.
And so it goes.
So why not move through places with what we strive to have? And share it with others?
Tranquility, kindness, warmth, empathy, passion, generousity, truth, humor, vigor, and peace.
I can only hope that the next year will bring what I need. If not, that I will have what will guide me to whereever I may go.
x Vicky
