Dear Autumn

~Hello~

How has your Autumn been? Winter?

Are you holding onto the edge?

That's a question that always manages to squeeze into my mind.

 

Besides that, I've made a short video and uploaded it to my YouTube channel called "Dear Autumn" (hence, this post's name).

I feel like this is only a small piece of what I want to create. Whether people would understand or not, I'll try my best on explaining.

So, here I go. This is the poem.

"Dear Autumn"

Dear Autumn,

It's been a while since I've seen you,

since I've talked to you,

since I've felt you.

I'm sorry to see what you've been through

the hushed way that time flew

but it's better now

and it's okay that you've fallen down

because you held on for long enough

bringing memories that will eventually drown

holding onto life no matter how tough

letting the concrete town breathe in this little big town

There's nothing quite like... the time we had together

the aimless wonders

I don't blame you...

for taking time...

and I know...

It's not fun playing fine

Sometimes I think of it as bittersweet,

when you'd leave me.

Sometimes I think it would be my last heartbeat.

And I just want you to know.

I'm sorry.

"Dear Autumn" is a poem that I had written not long ago. I was taking my annual walk through Central Park, and had thought of this video's concept. Later that day, I started to write this poem.

At first, I thought it was a love letter to Autumn.
I thought "Autumn" was a person. I thought it was the season itself.

But I realized that it was both, and that it was an apology letter.
A letter that was long overdue from being sent and read.

You can interpret "Autumn" anyway you'd like.

In the fifth stanza ("and it's okay..."), I was referring to everything that leaves endure throughout the year.
Like leaves, we try to "hold on" and make it through the unexpected and dreadful impediments in life. Sometimes, the rain and wind would get the best of us when we're the most fragile. So we'd give into the gentlest breeze, and beautifully, yet tragically fall. Other times, we try to last longer until our inevitable fates present themselves.

In the second to last stanza, it sums up a portion of my "bittersweet" thoughts of the season. If you think about it, its quite melancholic. The trees are bare and empty, it's annual lifespan has come to an end. Although, at the same time, I understand that it's something that needs to be done and can't be avoided. It's something that we don't want to face until we've tasted the blood in our mouths and said it out loud. Our subconscience would try to suppress the thoughts.

There's more to get into, but I'll leave it here for now.

This is only one of the many things that I've thought of and written down. 99.99% of them are rarely, or never, shared outside the pages of my notebook.

Mostly because I'm afraid.
Who isn't?

They're the most personal thing that anyone can physically get to, and I find it terrifying of how I could ever allow myself be vulnerable to someone. Let alone, anyone that stumbled on this video or blog post.

Everyone has some line or boundary right?

With that being said, I'll talk to you soon.

~ Vicky