❄ My Childhood During the Holidays ❄

It's the full swing into the holiday season, and I've been reminiscing on the memories I've had about this time of the year.

This is going to be a blast from the past for me. Haha, it's story time with grandma Vicky!

It's been a tradition for my aunts, uncles, cousins, and family friends to all come around my home on Christmas Eve to celebrate the holidays. There would be a santa plushie on our couch, and a light-up snowman that was hung on our window.

All the kids would be sitting on our living room floor, and happily accepting the red envelopes and wrapped presents from the adults.

This was on Christmas Day 2010, I had just turned 11 years-old the day before.
*I'm cringing at my hoop earrings and wire glasses *


And I remember this specific year where my dad came home in the middle of the party. I don't remember if the box was wrapped or not, but it was probably the best gift I got as a kid. A plastic keyboard. And it was actually a working toy! I was so excited that I took it to the bathroom with my younger cousins, and we spent the rest of the evening pushing the black and white keys.

But now that I'm "too old" for gifts, I usually get presents from my brother. Which I'm super grateful for. It's funny because we never really said out loud that we would do that for each other. But I guess it started when he drew me little birthday cards when we were young.

These are some memories I haven't shared out loud before, so I hope you'll think back on similar childhood moments :)

Happy holidays from me to you, and I'll talk to you soon :)
~ Vicky

3 AM Thoughts

It's been December 24th for only 3 hours and 12 minutes so far.

The night sky is quite grey, so it's not really pitch black outside.
It's been lightly drizzling for a while, just like it was last year.

I couldn't fall asleep so I decided to write this while I lay in bed.
I turned my fairy lights on to make it feel more Christmasy, and this is just going to be me splurging out my thoughts.

Here's something --
I was born at 2:15AM on this night 17 years ago.
Yeah, I'm a Christmas Eve baby.

I wonder where my brother was.
He was only one year-old.
Was he asleep or awake when my mom was having me?

I wonder what my mom was doing when she realized she was going into labor. Or what she thought.
It was probably along the lines of "oh crap!" But in cantonese of course, haha!
She was probably like, "aww c'mon, I just want to sleep. I'm too tired to push this thing out."

(I'm silently laughing so hard right now, and I can't breath underneath my duvet. Hopefully my parent's don't hear me).

Crazy huh?

17 years.
Seventeen.

I'll probably come back to this page when I'm older, and think "Oh Vicky. So young and naive."

My birthday's don't ever feel like one... if that makes sense.
It would feel like it's just another day, nothing really special.
Since it would be the first day of winter break, I'd be sleeping in or doing homework most of the time.

Last year I went on a walk in the morning, and I think I'll make it my own little tradition. I'd go to a cafe for a hour or two and enjoy being alone. It gets me out of the house before some of my relatives come over, and I could get some peace and quiet for the day.

It's something that I've been trying to do this year.
It clears my mind a bit, and gives me some time to breathe.
It makes me feel a bit small... you know?
There's so many people in the world, and then there's just me.

I would think about all the people in the world on this day, and try to imagine what they're doing and how they feel.

There's kids and adults who are super excited for the holidays.
Loved ones who are spending their first holidays together, kids who may remember this time for the rest of their lives, or people who just love the festive period. The people who may not celebrate this time, or can't.

I wouldn't spend time having a giant birthday bash like most teens. I'd spend most of my time reflecting on the year I had, and what I've done or haven't done. It's a pretty downer time for me, but I like it.

My relatives would come over for dinner, and I would binge watch movies in bed or at my desk with my cousins. The fairy lights of my room would be on, and I'd be all warm underneath the blankets.

It's better than anything else I'd wish for.

That's it from me, I'm probably going to watch some movies until the sun comes out.
~ Vicky

❄ Christmas Gift Guide ❄

Happy holidays :)

How's December going for you?

Are you cozying up with a cup of hot chocolate? Watching movies at night? Bustling around to find the perfect gift for someone?

Well I hope you have time to slow down a bit and take in the festive time!

As I'm growing older, I know that my downtime is the most valuable thing!

I've been doing a bit of shopping recently, and I thought I'd share my gift giving thoughts :)

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Here are some gift ideas that you can give away (or ask for), I even made cute theme names! :)

❄ The Cozy Hug ❄

~ All I can imagine is laying in bed with some comfy pajamas on ~

These are the cutest socks! I got them at Target ($1) and was so surprised at how soft and fuzzy they were (or at least the middle one). 

I love everything Christmas and holiday themed! The PJ bottoms on the left are from Old Navy, and the middle and right ones are from Primark. They make the cold mornings in NYC all more festive and cute! 

❄ AHHH, by the way, I found out that there's going to be 2 Primarks in NYC :D Even though they're deep in Brooklyn and Staten Island, AHH!! ❄

A mug from Michaels Craft Store (aka, my favorite place to shop at -- besides Sur La Table). I got this as a gift for a White Elephant game, and I thought anyone could use a mug for some hot drinks at this time of year.

☆ Wright's Apothecary Bathing Infusions -- Lemongrass & Aloe, Olive & Fig, Rose & White Tea

☆ Blistex Lip Medex

It may seem a bit generic but it's always nice to treat someone with a good quality pamper session.

This is very Tumblry, haha. I took some Christmas lights and hung them around my bed to mix things up from the dull fluorescent color of my room. Even though it took me a hour to work the lights onto my bunk bed, it adds a bit of fun when I'm watching movies in bed.

I got The Room Essentials lights from Target ($6) for Secret Santa, and my friend  loves it! 

For the artist! 

I got these pens at Michaels Craft Store ($10), and they're really useful for anyone you know that loves sketching, drawing, or painting. 

❄ The Librarian's Trinkets ❄

~ Sometimes I think of myself as a old librarian at heart ~

Egghead - Bo Burnham

If on a winter's night a traveler - Italo Calvino

Invisible Cities - Italo Calvino

Cosmicomics  - Italo Calvino

These are my favorite books this year.

They're great for any bookworms looking for a escape route.

Disney's Tsum Tsum

THEY ARE SO TINY, CUTE, AND SQUISHY! 

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I hope these ideas were helpful :)

Much love and warmth,

~ Vicky 

Late Night Doodle

A little look into my mind.

It's a bit fuzzy because the scan doesn't come out quite clear. This is one example of why I want to buy in a drawing tablet, but investing in any tech makes me feel nervous. 

What if my ideas are crud?


~ Let's play a little game of Eye-Spy ~

☆ A whale eating a star
☽ A sailboat
☆ Alien spaceships
☽ 2 houses
☆ A withering flower
☽ 2 Kites
☆A balloon
☽ A man fishing

Have fun searching!

This doodle will probably be the first of many :)

Okie dokie, it's 12:39AM and I have to be up at 5AM for school.

~ night night ~ 

Reliving a Childlike Summer

Hi :)

You know, every time I write, I'm not sure how to start. Do I jump right in, or do I say hello first?
I'll get the hang of it someday. I don't know if it'll be soon.
So for now, please excuse my recycling usage of "hi," "hello," and "hey."

Anyway's, summer is closing to an end :P

This summer for me has been a bit busy, not going to lie. 2 months away from school is simply not enough. I'll soon be in college, thinking the same. Then, if I work full time, I'll relish these days.

I know it.

But for now, I'll find a middle ground.
Right?

I've been working at a local day camp watching kids. The first week and a half was a bit rocky, (mainly because I was getting use to engaging with them). I forgot how kids are sometimes. It's been a while since I had to entertain a kid.

I mean, I have younger cousins who are 10-ish, but they're always occupied by their phones whenever they visit.

I was out of the loop.

Urgh, technology can be too much at times. Does anyone agree?

In the end, it all worked out. I had a fun time playing board games and talking to a loving group of 24 hyperactive kids.

On my first day, I taught a little girl, named Liz, how to draw a cat and bunny (the bottom one is mine). She was a sweet and feisty girl who wasn't shy about wanting to braid my hair :) 

Funny thing is -- every time I mention the day camp to my friends, I always refer to them as, "my kids."

I do think of them as "my kids" though.
I may not be their school teachers, family members, or friends that have been around for a long time. After all, I've only known them for 2 months. But it was enough for me to care about them.

For the whole time I was a junior counselor, I'm surrounded by their different stories and backgrounds.

I've seen the thick and thin of my little ones.
A few boo-boo's, cries, and arguments between the kids, but it made me realize one important lesson that has sunk into me.

-- At a young age, influence is the key thing that can change someone. Whether it's for the good or the bad. --

As a teen, I heard this before and waved it away. It doesn't bother me, because I've grown up. I'm old enough to understand what is around me, and what is not (I'm still learning of course).

But for these kids, or, all kids in general.
They're still innocent. Pure. Naive.

Most importantly. They're happy.
Well, in some way.

So when I ask about their home and school life, it has really shaped my perspective on how kids turn out from different upbringings.

They go on about with their days though. Through the ups and downs, their energy doesn't waver.
Nothing fazes them from wanting me to push them on the swings, or chase them around the playground.

They have so much life in them.
They're living in the moment.

Living!!

Without much clue of what growing up means, it's eye opening.

They've been the sweetest little rascals, and has brought so much to my life in the short 2 months we had together.

So this is for my kids --

I don't know if I'll ever see you again, but I hope we do. I hope you'll remember your summer as well as I do.

Until next time ~
xx Vicky

Warm Rainy Days

Hey guys~

How has July treated you?

There's been a lot of rain and thunderstorms in New York City.

The sky would be bright blue, and the sun would be shining. But a few minutes later, clouds roll in and turn everything grey. The wind would start to pick up. Trees would be swaying and leaves are flying into the air. Thunder would erupt in the sky. A few minutes later, rain comes pouring down and the wind would whip it everywhere.

I like it when it rains.
The air gets crisp and cool.
The streets are mostly empty.
The sun is swallowed by clouds, and the sky gives off a grey and eerie feeling.

I've stayed at home and finally found time to relax and unwind ---- something I'm constantly forgetting to do.

I got around to doing some writing I wanted to work on. Being the person I am, my running thoughts would be written into the numerous notebooks that I have.

Other people would say "diary," but that word gets a bit of negative reputation. It's something people would assume that would be filled with secret and blah blah blah drama. So I go with "journal."

I started writing in journals a longgg time ago, and I just finished my 3rd journal. Yes, I have 3 journals worth of writing. All of them look huge, because I was really into saving everything I had. Little pieces of paper, wrappers, brochures -- you name it -- it was all tapped into my journal. Ever since I was 11, I kept a journal with me. I talked about my friendships with other people, my thoughts, books I read, etc. It was satisfying to finish the last page and last line of the journal.

A final farewell, and a hello to a fresh page of journal #4.

I always wanted to get back into painting. In the past, I only used acrylic paint. I didn't do extravagant portraits or landscapes, because my skills are pretty cruddy. I can't draw/paint anything realistic, believe me. I have a cartoony style, and it's a love and hate relationship. So I've been trying to practice my shading and form of depth when it came to painting. Plus, I'm now trying out watercolor paints to branch out the materials I used. So far it's been okay, it's not as bad as I thought it would be. I still have a long way to go though :P

I also painted a magazine holder I made from old Amazon boxes. It was a basic coat of purple to hide to the brown color. You can try repainting things too, it could give your room a fresh new look without having to buy expensive decor.

 

If you watch Friends, I am Monica. Even my best friend calls me Monica sometimes, haha!
I can be very particular in the way my things are, (at the same time I can be messy too).

I've been cleaning and reorganizing my room so that there's less clutter in my room. It's therapeutic and I feel less suffocated when I'm not constantly clambering over things that's left on the floor, or rummaging through the piles of things on my desk. Now everything looks so nice and clean, I wonder how long it will last like that.

I didn't really have much of a plan on where things went, I just winged it -- as I always do. So, it was a lot of trial and error before I felt like things were in the right place. Reorganizing my art supplies, papers, notebooks, etc was like Tetris basically (my favorite game as a kid). Does anyone else think it's satisfying when things fit together so well together?

Post-it's, newspaper clippings, and doodles were taken down from my walls. I threw out a lot of things that I have been saving in memory boxes. Sentimental objects that I knew I wouldn't appreciate if it was in a box. They would just collect dust, and it's not reasonable to continue keeping it. Pieces of yarn, mini poker cards, plastic animals, etc. They may seem random, but it's the little things that I appreciate.

When I'm cleaning or painting, I usually put on a movie to watch. It's something I do to watch something new and be productive at the same time. I got around to watching a few movies that I wanted to see, mostly romantic comedies or comedy shows.

If you want to watch a Rom-Com that's light-hearted and funny, here's my mini list that I made for you. You can watch the trailers by clicking their titles.
☆ Before We Go
☽ Love Actually
☆ The Fundamentals of Caring
☽ After The Ball
☆ The Other Woman
☽ Walk of Shame

If you want your stomach to hurt from laughing too much, these are 2 of some of my favorite comedians/comedy shows. I can go in depth with each of these people, but I'd ramble on forever.
☆ The Fluffy Movie - Gabriel Iglesias  
☽ Notorious - Russell Peters

Guaranteed funny TV shows that you'd like.
☆ Brooklyn Nine-Nine
☽ New Girl

Wherever you are.
Whoever you are.
Find some time for yourself.

It could be a rainy or sunny day, what ever you prefer.
You do you.

~ Vicky

~ Film Festivals ~

Heyooo guys~

How's your 2016 so far? It's been a while. Time passed really quick hasn't it? It's the middle of the year now. Wow...
I've been quite busy recently. Projects, film screenings, work, and buzzing ideas.

If only time could pause for a while. That would make everything, if not, most things, better.
At least that's what I imagine.

Let me briefly catch you up on somethings that has happened to me in these past few months since I've been away. I'll do another blog post on some more things that I've been doing the past few weeks. For now, this is about some new proud moments of my life.

My film life (so far).

In April, my short documentary I did last summer was screened at Columbia University's and Tribeca Film Festival! And it's going to be screened at Rochester Teen Film Festival, Brooklyn's BRIC TV, and in the Hampton's for a fundraiser. How exciting!

I can't thank my mentors and peers (who are more like friends and family to me) more for what they have done to help me get to where I am today. I'm always grateful for their endless support and realism that encourages me to grow, and keeps me more grounded to who I am.

Last month, my second short documentary "How To Be Bad," was finished and released into the world at a small screening.

It's about a new friend of mine, named Ed. A quaint, quirky, wise, and inspiring man that I became close with during the time we spent together filming and talking.

In the film, he reflects on how his beliefs and goals has influenced his past and present life. He's an free-spirited elderly intellectual who has a strong anti-work philosophy. At the screening, there was a nice amount of people who really cared about what my fellow filmmakers and I had to say.


Columbia University's City Lights 2016 Film Festival

The ambiance was really cool. The campus and buildings felt rustic, yet, new. Students milled around the streets while I was walking over to the Teacher's College Columbia University (where the festival was being held). I felt like a kid. Keep in mind that I'm 16-going-to-17-year old, and that I'm still 5'4 (thanks for the g-r-e-a-t genes mom and dad). 

I was already intimidated by the college students, let alone, see only (I kid you not) people in their mid-20's to 70's. I was also probably one of the two asians in the room. It felt weird at first, but then it felt nice to be different. Out of everyone's films, A-D-U-L-T films, that were being screened, I was beside them. 

Tribeca Film Festival's 2016 Our City My Story 

When I was at the screening, it felt so ODD because it was so SURREAL.
One year ago, I was at Tribeca Film Festival's Tribeca Teaches with some of my school mates. We had made a short film together, and it was great. I made a blog post actually, called Mushed Thingy Mabob of a Mess ~Part 1 (click the name to read it). We had the fall and spring semester to work on it after school, and it was my first film festival.

Since I'm not in the after school club anymore, I was kind of disappointed to not go. But I got the news that my film was accepted to Our City My Story! Like - WHAT?! How cool?!

The event was held at the Bow Tie theater. The same theater I went to during Fall 2015 - for a documentary film festival - DOC NYC.

So, in November 2015, I went there as a audience member who watched professional documentaries. I went to the workshops to learn how to enhance my skills and hear more about the industry.

8 months ago, past-Vicky had no clue that I would be back at the Bow Tie theater for Tribeca Film Festival. In April 2016, I went there as a participating filmmaker.

If that makes any sense to you - as it does to me, then you could see how surreal it felt to me.
It still baffles me - how only time could tell.
Never would I have guessed that I would be there.


"How To Be Bad" Premiere

In my first documentary screening, I wasn't good friends with much people at the time, so I didn't stay long. I was that awkward girl who stood on the side, nervously holding a drink, and avoiding eye contact. I kinda still am.

This time, it was different. I actually invited people.
In the past, I didn't. Simply because people "didn't have the time" - a nice way to say they're not interested.

I had gotten close to a few people over the past few years, and I consider them friends of mine. They knew about my film and were interested in what I have been working on for the past 9 months. They're some of the most down to earth, kind, supportive, and genuine people who didn't mind spending their time with me outside of work or school.

There was food, drinks, and music. A nice combo to start and end the crisp early-summers night.

As the evening winded down, my friends and I walked to the subway station to head home for the night. Our energy was unsuspectingly spiked back up when 3 or 4 rats came running by our feet. There was even a cat nearby, but it just sat there watching! Laughter filled the air after the moment passed, and it's always going to be a memory that I will never forget.

By the end of the night, my voice was hoarse, my cheeks were sore from smiling so much, and my feet were tired.
A true sign of how hard work pays off.


That's my film rambles for now. I know that was a lot to read, sorry not sorry about it. Haha ~
They're some of the things that have happened in my life, and it feels nice to share my accomplishments. Maybe there might be more in the future, let's find out on this journey together!

Until next time, bye!
~ Vicky

"One Less Snowflake"

I had written this poem back in 2014, around April. Everything felt out of place and lost. I still feel like that today. This is one of the many poems that I had written during that time, and it still resonates closely to me. 

I've decided to share this with you because I had taken a walk in a blizzard yesterday, and I had taken a walk in the snow today, and it reminded me of this.  

The city spent the day inside peacefully wallowing as fresh snow blanketed them back to bed.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

  "One Less Snowflake"

Ice cold, calming, but threatening

Made in the dark for hiding

The beautiful colors turned gray

Hardened with differentiation as a price to pay

Effortlessly impenetrable in a way

Once lit with energy

Nevertheless filled with glee

Eaten up by those who flee

Lost in a blizzard of confusion

Enclosed within everything but oxygen

Feeling nothing but freezing contraptions

Twirling alone along the walls of a den

Intertwined with a blank space

Napping with no sleep but a dream that's a waste

Thinking about the new and different whose voices are weak

Healing a wound that will always peek

Evolving into copies claimed to be unique

Dissolved with muted fame

And isolated to be tamed

Released into the sky and judged to be the same

Killing time being in vain

Aiming low at a single downfall

Left alone with nothing at all

Leaving the world as a piece of small

Bottled up and melted into rain

Yearning for this to be a game

Merging into a thread of a mane

Yelling, screaming, and pleading for bane

Slipping into a concussion of blame

Ecstatic with nothing but a pool of rain

Linked to an anchor sinking in pain

Floating gently with nothing to aim

Sitting softly in a ray

I pass by you day by day

Kicked, stomped, and thrown away

Watching surroundings with sympathy

Impossible to fly with harmony

Touching the uncharted with a complex melody

Hypnotized in a trance of fear used playfully

Not meant to be free

Or drowning in a remedy

The minuscule hope in water and sea

Eventually out of bounds with no rules

Ventriloquists controlling frolicking hot iron shoes

Entangled in labels marked as tools

Numb with everything cruel

Atrocities seen as perfections

Lightly fluttering about with a bounded hand

Implanted in reality alone and nowhere to send

Gazing slowly with no way to mend

The end must come to an end