snake bite

I tend to have vivid dreams and last night was no different.

I woke up in the middle of the night with my body tense and my arm stiff.

I don't remember where I was or who I was with. I do know I was with a group of people I knew and cared about. And all of a sudden a dark colored snake was slithering by us and my protective instincts overcame me. Carefully and cautiously I approached it from the side and reached my hand out to grab it. I snatched it firmly with my left hand but not close enough to the head. It wipped around with it's mouth wide open. It's fangs dug into my arm, sinking into the fleshy bend of my elbow. Almost swallowing half my arm never to let go. 

I didn't flinch or scream or move. It felt expected and I just starred at it. 

Then I woke up.

Ghost venom poisioning my blood and through my unmoving arm until I remembered it was all a dream.

It feels clearer these days that I am often the defender.

Willing to put myself in a position to protect others even if it means hurting myself. And how exhausting it can become.

Maybe this snake bite is a reminder that it's important to keep myself safe, protected, and not at the expense of sparing others.