Cookie Crash

Hey guys!

The holiday's building up to the next few days!

How's everything?

Today, December the 23rd, was the last day of school for the year. 

Oh how time passes by when you're drowning in school work.

 Enough of that though.

I'm writing this blog post because I made some cookies!

When I say some, I mean a total of 6 batches of cookies. Yeah.

On the 18th, I came home from school and made some chocolate chip and gingerbread cookie dough. I actually made a video while I was doing that, which I had uploaded today, called "Cookie Chats." 

I was actually making these cookie dough's, because I had two of my best friends coming over to my house to bake and decorate them. That way, we could all spread some festive spirit in our schools.

All I can say, there can be one too many people in a kitchen. Haha.

It was hectic!

The three of us had to work on the gingerbread dough for a long time, because it kept crumbling apart. That's mainly because I wasn't supposed to freeze the dough...

It didn't turn out bad though!

We just had to work it with a lot of kneading, flour, and water :P

It was like 7:30 when everything was done. It was tiringggg.

I ended up letting my friends take all the cookies home, because there wasn't a lot to share between all 3 of us. Despite there being at least 60 cookies...

So, I made a 2nd batch of all three cookies on Monday (the 21st) and baked them the next day. The pictures are actually from my 2nd batch, because the pictures from baking with my friends were (no offense to them) a mess.

XD

Everything was covered in flour and oily fingerprints.

But in this case, the 2nd batch, they turned out much better. I was kind of disappointed because the chocolate chip cookies didn't spread out as much as the first batch. Maybe it had to do something with the baking soda. I also added some additional white chocolate chips, because why not? Besides that, the sugar cookies and gingerbread cookies turned out really well.

My friends and I decorated the 1st batch with icing, but that was a mess as well. So I decided that the 2nd batch would be icing-free, that way, it's not a hassle or overpoweringly sweet. (Mostly because if I were to decorate them, it'll take so long. And I didn't have time to do that with all the projects and tests at school).

If you do want to decorate them, I sketched out some ideas of icing the gingerbread cookies.

If you want the recipes that I used, click on their names down below. My video "Cookie Chats," also has the cookie recipes in the description box.

Chocolate Chip Cookies

*Side note* It might also help if you squished them down a bit before baking, so you get a bigger and thinner cookie.

Gingerbread Cookies

*Side note* Unlike the video, you can use any cookie cutter shapes you want. I used a Christmas tree, gingerbread man, candy cane, reindeer, and snowflake. I got most of them at from Michaels (the craft store), they're really affordable (about $2 each). But for the gingerbread men and tree, I got mine at Sur La Table (aka, where I restrain my geeky self from cookware). They're my go-to stores to wander around in and look at things, but I never buy anything. You know what I mean?

Sugar Cookies

*Side note* If you were making these for people who don't really like chocolate and peppermint, it's totally optional and you can leave it out like I did. It might help if you squished them down a bit before baking, so you get a bigger and thinner cookie.

That's it from my cookie madness, I'll talk to you soon.

~ Vicky

Dear Autumn

~Hello~

How has your Autumn been? Winter?

Are you holding onto the edge?

That's a question that always manages to squeeze into my mind.

 

Besides that, I've made a short video and uploaded it to my YouTube channel called "Dear Autumn" (hence, this post's name).

I feel like this is only a small piece of what I want to create. Whether people would understand or not, I'll try my best on explaining.

So, here I go. This is the poem.

"Dear Autumn"

Dear Autumn,

It's been a while since I've seen you,

since I've talked to you,

since I've felt you.

I'm sorry to see what you've been through

the hushed way that time flew

but it's better now

and it's okay that you've fallen down

because you held on for long enough

bringing memories that will eventually drown

holding onto life no matter how tough

letting the concrete town breathe in this little big town

There's nothing quite like... the time we had together

the aimless wonders

I don't blame you...

for taking time...

and I know...

It's not fun playing fine

Sometimes I think of it as bittersweet,

when you'd leave me.

Sometimes I think it would be my last heartbeat.

And I just want you to know.

I'm sorry.

"Dear Autumn" is a poem that I had written not long ago. I was taking my annual walk through Central Park, and had thought of this video's concept. Later that day, I started to write this poem.

At first, I thought it was a love letter to Autumn.
I thought "Autumn" was a person. I thought it was the season itself.

But I realized that it was both, and that it was an apology letter.
A letter that was long overdue from being sent and read.

You can interpret "Autumn" anyway you'd like.

In the fifth stanza ("and it's okay..."), I was referring to everything that leaves endure throughout the year.
Like leaves, we try to "hold on" and make it through the unexpected and dreadful impediments in life. Sometimes, the rain and wind would get the best of us when we're the most fragile. So we'd give into the gentlest breeze, and beautifully, yet tragically fall. Other times, we try to last longer until our inevitable fates present themselves.

In the second to last stanza, it sums up a portion of my "bittersweet" thoughts of the season. If you think about it, its quite melancholic. The trees are bare and empty, it's annual lifespan has come to an end. Although, at the same time, I understand that it's something that needs to be done and can't be avoided. It's something that we don't want to face until we've tasted the blood in our mouths and said it out loud. Our subconscience would try to suppress the thoughts.

There's more to get into, but I'll leave it here for now.

This is only one of the many things that I've thought of and written down. 99.99% of them are rarely, or never, shared outside the pages of my notebook.

Mostly because I'm afraid.
Who isn't?

They're the most personal thing that anyone can physically get to, and I find it terrifying of how I could ever allow myself be vulnerable to someone. Let alone, anyone that stumbled on this video or blog post.

Everyone has some line or boundary right?

With that being said, I'll talk to you soon.

~ Vicky

September/October Favorites

Hello ~

How's your October so far? I caught a cold, and I've been sick for the past week.
Runny and stuffy noses complimented with my flem filled throat, yuck.

Unlike my usual posts, this one is dedicated to some of my favorite things. 

Snacks

(I devoured them all before I could take pictures...)

Trader Joe's - Sour Cream and Onion Puffs

I am a Sour Cream and Onion girl, without a DOUBT. No offence to the other flavors, but sour cream and onion is my favoriteeee. I would like to apologize in advance if you were to ever smell my garlicky or oniony breath. 

Mmm, cheezy, regular, honey bbq, Doritos ranch or spicy sweet chili ones... are you drooling too?

Does anyone else like salt and vinegar? I rarely eat it, but it's good.

Books

"We Should Hang Out Sometime" - Josh Sundquist
"I'm Special: And Other Lies We Tell Ourselves" - Ryan O'Connell
"Yes, My Accent is Real" - Kunal Nayyar

All the books mentioned above are hilarious, insightful, and a page turner. You get to delve deep into the funny, awkward, cringe worthy, and personal aspects of their life. I HIGHLY recommend these books, because you're in for a ride of emotions (mostly laughing at the dirty stories and the occasional insightful punch).

Movies and Short Films

If you're like me, watching movies and binge eating snacks sounds like a perfect afternoon.

(You can click on them if you want to watch it *cough* totally legal... *cough*).

Stuck in Love

I stumbled upon this movie when I was listening to music by Nat and Alex Wolf. One of their songs featured in this movie, and I though I'd check it out. There's beautiful and insightful quotes, books, and music that are woven into the story, which enhances the character's raw and vulnerable emotions really well.

La Maison en Petits Cubes

I would describe this short film as rustic, bittersweet, and memorable. Despite the short length of the video, it still has a moving impact. This reminds me of "Einstein's Dream's," a book that consists of a collection of insightful and thought provoking short stories, written by Alan Lightman.

Song of the Sea

I heard of this animation through Sleeping At Last, whose music is actually featured in this animation.
It's really heartwarming and beautifully made. The soundtrack is absolutely peaceful and the lyrics are meaningful to listen to (which describes Sleeping At Last pretty well).

Music

I've been listening to a lot of new music on Spotify recently, and these are some artists that I really like.

"Between the Bars" - Elliott Smith

This was a song featured in the movie "Stuck in Love," and I haven't stopped listening to it since.
I would close my eyes, and feel the slow and mellow melody travel underneath my skin.
With my head swaying gently, his raw voice would wrap around me.

"Old Pine" and "Promise"  - Ben Howard

If you like acoustic indie/folk music, then you'll like Ben Howard.
His albums "Every Kingdom," and "I Forgot Where We Were" are really calming for a rainy and grey day.

"October" - Jon D

His sweet voice and acoustic guitar makes me feel warm and fuzzy inside. I actually found him through his song "Mechanical Heart," and his albums "Alone Together" and "Roots" are amazing.
Pssstttt... Notice how the song's name is relevant? ;)

"Around the World and Back" - Sate Champs (feat. Ansley Newman)

I actually found this band because I was subscribed to the channel, Pure Noise Records (where I also found Front Porch Step). This band's music reminds my of Issues and their music, they both have unique sounds that I adore. Besides indie music, I love punk rock and alternative rock music ^like them.

That's the limit I'm putting for the music category, or else I will go on for ages.


Products

Burt's Bees - Replenishing Lip Balm with Pomegranate Oil
 Maybelline Baby Lips - 05 Quenched (or what I call - The blue one, haha)

I wanted to try Burt's Bees for a while, but why are they so damn expensive?! I went to Lot Less and saw it for a reasonable price and thought, "why not?"

The Maybelline lip balm has a glossier finish, if you go over your lips more than twice. It smells like Fruity Pebbles, so that's a bonus :)
The Burt's Bees lip balm is better in my opinion, it isn't as glossy, but it still leave my lips smooth and (like what it's called) replenishing. The smell and taste has a nice subtle flavor from the pomegranate.


I'm closing this to an end now, let me know your favorites as well!:)
Talk to you soon

~ Vicky

Cancun

Hello ~

If you have read one of my previous posts, "Silent Warm Nights," I mentioned how I was going on a family vacation to Cancun, Mexico.

Whilst I'm writing this, I'm back from the trip!

Being the anxious person I am, flying is not 100% fun for me. Sure, when there's no turbulence and pain in my ears, I wouldn't tense up as easily. However, when the plane takes off and lands at uncomfortably nauseous movements, nope. NoPe. NOPE.

When I get nervous or really anxious, I would clam up and stay silent in fear. All my thoughts turn into possibilities of things going wrong. My fear of heights also triggers more ideas of plummeting to death.

Isn't my mind a soothing place?
*Sarcasm*

When the plane's flying smoothly, and when my mind isn't frantically pressing the panic button, I'd try to distract myself by watching movies, listening to music, or sleeping.

Despite having to wake up at 4 in the morning to catch our connecting flight to Atlanta, I didn't feel very sleepy on the plane. So I watched movies, took photos out the window, and listened to music.

The landing into Cancun was horrifying. The plane was swaying side to side, up and down during the last 10 minutes of the flight. GEEZ. I felt my stomach flipping around, my head spinning, and I felt like I couldn't breathe.
It was one of the worst feelings I've had recently.

Besides my series of mini panic attacks, we made it past security and border control and exited the airport.

BOY it was humid and sunny! X__X
It wasn't as unbearable as Hong Kong though, so that was a bit better.

When we got to our hotel, we upgraded our rooms and got a better view.

The crashing sound of waves was really nice in terms of calming down my nerves.




You can also see the moonlight hitting the dark waters. The way the moon hides behind hazy clouds, or when thunder flashes in the distance.

We signed up for two mini trips to have outside of the hotel, one at a water park-thing, and another for submarine riding.

If you want to see Day 1 of my trip, it's actually on my YouTube channel :)

Click Here to watch.

On the third day of our trip, we went to spend a day at the water park. There was only 4 activities to do, zip lining, ATV driving, river paddling, or river swimming. I only did 2, zip lining and ATV driving. We did these 2 before drying off and having lunch. I didn't want to get wet again, so I read a book whilst my parents and brother went river swimming. 

I hate heights 100%. No doubt.

My parents and brother forced me to zip line because they "didn't want to split up and possibly have me lost."

I CALL BULLSHT.

It was the worstttttttttttttttttttttt.

My fingers were cramped and raw with redness from clutching on the harness so tightly. My whole body could not move, and I felt dizzy after getting from one landing to the other. The whole zip line activity is an hour long. There was also 4 different exits, but I couldn't leave my family.

D:

The zip lines were like 20-30 km off the ground, over forests, roads, etc. My legs felt weak, and I could barely breathe. It was cloudy and rainy, so the rushing cold wind didn't help much.

X __ X

Sometimes, there would be bridges made of rope and planks to get to the next zip line platforms.
Here's one for an example, but the one's there, had no metal support on the hand rails.



It was sometimes worse than going on the zip line because some people thought it was freaking funny to jump and sway it around.

Let me TELL YOU.

If you are ever one of those people.
STOP.
It may seem funny to you, but not for some others.
Be CONSIDERATE.
Not only for people's POSSIBLE ANXIETY AND FEARS, BUT ALSO FOR YOUR OWN AND OTHER PEOPLE'S SAFETY. It won't be funny if someone gets hurt, or has a panic attack. And it certainly won't be fun for you or the person if something does happen.

Moving along...

The only time I felt comfortable with the zip line was the final line that lead to splashing into the river. My feet were probably a foot or two from the water, so it wasn't as scary as the other ones.

After that, we all went to ATV driving.

Being the messed up parents my parent's are, told my brother to just lie about his age to be able to drive before we got to the water park.

(He's 17 right now, and the age qualification is 18 or up).

Anyways, when we got there. My parents drove off before we got a say in getting in the back of their ATV.

Great.

So my brother got behind the wheel of a ATV, and I sat in the passengers seat. A staff worker asked for his age, and he lied about being 18 and had no I.D. to prove it like the worker asked.

Despite that, the guy let us go and my brother managed to drive away.

Note: MY BROTHER NEVER HAD DRIVING LESSONS OR DRIVING EXPERIENCE AT ALL. SO THIS IS HIS FIRST TIME ACTUALLY DRIVING A VEHICLE THAT'S NOT A TOY OR GAME.

A few minutes down the curving path, my brother would hit a few branches or two from driving off of the path by a bit. That is until he smashes into a tree and gets a rock stuck under the ATV.

We spend about 5 minutes trying to push the ATV, pulling the rock out, and driving away but it doesn't budge. The smell of gas would just cloud up around us. A group of people eventually drove up and tried to help us, but nothing they did helped. A line of ATV's formed when the people gave up on helping us and drove away. They did drive away to get help, but we eventually jogged back to get someone.

We were finally freed and my brother drove more cautiously and slowly (but not better by much). I don't think I've ever shouted "ease," "right," "left," or "turn" so much in my life. He'd still hit branches, walls, and rocks though.

We got into another crash at a big dip into a cave of water. We rammed into the side of the cave and couldn't move for a while. I heard a loud bang a few moments later when the people behind us got out and helped us. From there, we eventually got to a checkpoint where a worker was stationed there and pulled us over. Apparently, the front right wheel was flat.

~ Slow claps ~

We ended up riding with two other people to get to the end of the course.

It took about 45 minutes for us, when it's supposed to be like 20 to 30 minutes.

-___-

It was still rainy and cold, and to top it off, I was then covered in dirt, sand, and mud.

The next day, we went to Cozumel to ride a submarine and look at reefs. They even gave us a certificate XD

After that, we got some snacks and ice cream before heading back to our hotel. Mmmmm, raspberry sorbet and cheesy goodness.  :)

When we got back to our hotel, it was time to pack up and leave the morning after.
The flight back wasn't that bad. I didn't even notice that we were taking off on the way to Atlanta.

A few hours later, My family and I finally made it back home in the middle of the afternoon.

Ahhhh...

The sweet and stable Wifi.

It was a nice change of setting for a while. The soothing sounds of the ocean; and of course, the buffet.

;)

I'm all about that food and photo opportunities.

~ Vicky

Return of the Medieval ~ Castle Village

Greetings my brave knights, for you have traveled beyond ye hills.

(I don't know why I did that, I thought it would go along with the title's theme...)

If you don't already know, I'm a New York City based blogger/film maker/photographer/etc. When people hear the words "New York City," most people would automatically think of Times Square, Madison Garden, The Empire State Building, or other famous landmarks in the city. I mostly see tourists roaming around these areas, but they rarely branch out to the hidden gems that surrounds them.

All these local restaurants, bistros, cafes, and bars rarely get visited by new comers (unless you go online of course). You may disagree with me, but this is what I've seen so far.

Now that you know this, I'm going to circle back to it later on. Bare with me.

In my previous post, I mentioned how I was a part of a documentary program and how it was kind of difficult to get production days down. When we all were beginning to shoot our documentaries, people had split up with their groups to go out and film whatever they had to film. My partner was out that day, so one of the program's instructor and I went out to Washington Heights to get some b-roll for the film. We spent the whole day walking from 165th st to about 195th st. The weather was nice, so the b-roll scouting didn't seem much of a hike.

In the end, the footage I got was never used in the documentary .-.

Haha, it wasn't a waste of time though. I really enjoyed the walk. We stumbled upon a gem of an area called "Castle Village" (see? I'm circling back now).

I never heard of this neighborhood, but my breathe was taken when we continued to explore the place. The apartment complexes looked AMAZING.

For someone that loves to observe and study the little things, the architecture is absolutely beautiful. It's like you walked into The Renaissance and the Medieval times.

The walkways, gardens, and rooftops were made with grey bricks that gave off a very earthy feeling. It reminds me of the book and movie, "Ella Enchanted."


It's magnificent.

I don't have the footage from the first time I went there, but I did go back recently with two of my closest friends. They were just as amazed as I was, and (of course) I brought my camera to capture our surroundings.

The area's location is brilliant, you get a great view of the George Washington Bridge and the Hudson River. Boats sail by as you hear the rush of passing cars on the freeway. In the distance, you can see cars crawl across the bridge over to New Jersey.

It's a place you wouldn't expect in a city like this.

With the sunny and humid weather, we didn't stay long. Even though it was a short visit, I wished we could have enjoyed the view more. The  sun was beating down our back, so that didn't help the relaxing and beautiful feeling I intended for it to be.

Despite being there for only two times, there's still moments I will try to grasp on. 

If you ever get the chance to visit New York City, or even if you do live in NYC, try to explore new places.

The cafe you always walk by on the way to school.
The little bistro that you pass by all the time.

Just find someplace new, you might find something worth while.

~ Vicky

(P.S. It kinda feels odd to end a post without my usual ending of "Until then, bye ~" but it feels different in a nice way).

Silent Warm Nights

Heyooooooooooo!!!!

Sorry, I had to just dump a bunch of things off my chest from the last few posts. They were just things I wanted to update you on, and talk about. It may not seem like certain blogs that are centered around beauty, cooking, lifestyle, etc. but I wanted to have a platform to share personal things with you.

If you get to know me, you'd learn that I'm a realist with a pessimistic view. With that in mind, this blog is a way of seeing my perspective on the highs and lows of this screwed up world.

Now that you're up to date, let me tell you about my summer so far :)

During July and August, I joined a documentary program to pursue my interest in film making.
I always enjoyed writing and photography, and I dabbled in film making a few years ago. Overtime, I always wrote down mini short stories and thought about forming them into short films. Eventually, my love for film started to grow stronger.

Everything just fit together so well.

I knew creating films would be something I couldn't let go of. Ever since I was a part of a small film club during my sophomore year in high school, my aspiration grew. I enjoy everything about it, the filming and editing process is worth the time and effort when you get to see the outcome.

For the program I took this summer, my partner and I created (in my opinion) an amazing documentary on my close friend. Similar to the first short film I made at school, this documentary had a (not "dark" - that word gets thrown around too much and lost it's meaning for me)... let's say, insightful, meaningful, and powerful message.

Our documentary covered teen depression.

I won't get into much detail about the topic or else I'll go off into a really long tangent. For the film process, it took us a while to finally settle down on a production day but everything worked out.

The screening hasn't happened yet, it's on the 28th. I'm kind of nervous about whether the audience will like the film or not. At the same time, I really want to do my close friend justice in how she is presented and interpreted in the documentary.

She is honestly one of those close friends that can put on a smile on your face doing the craziest and silliest things. On the other hand, when you turn the leaf, she can be the sweetest and quirky person. She doesn't open up (completely) to many people, but I'm glad that I can be there when she needs to talk about things on her mind.

The day after the screening, well, not day... more like morning. Around 6 in the morning, my family and I are catching a plane to Cancun, Mexico for a family vacation. I don't get much sleep anyways, so I don't think it'll be bothered that much to wake up at 4AM.

It's supposedly fun, but the weather in Cancun doesn't seem promising. Either rainy days for the week, or a surprise change in weather. I'm fine with rainy and cold weather, it's probably my second favorite (after snowy days).

I'm not very fond of the idea of vacations :\
Am I the only one?

I feel like they're just an excuse for people to pretend that everything is okay, when it isn't. It's just a distraction from dealing with reality until you get back (what some may call) "home." Sure it could be all "fun" and stuff, but I can never be truly enjoying my time. I honestly can't remember the last time I was actually happy.

Well, not in the past 5 years.

After all, happiness and bliss can blind.

(See my pessimistic side coming through my thoughts and writing?)

It doesn't really bother me that much, I've gotten use to this numb feeling. This makes up who I am, and I can't pretend that everything will be okay. I can't "believe," "hope," or "wish" for things that aren't true or realistic.

Although, it can be frightening.

Speaking of frighting (kind of).

I got a job!

The same friend I talked about previously was interning at her mom's work place, and had offered me a position with her. It's a really nice place to work at. Everyone is friendly and fun to be around, and make time fly by.

Our last week of work is actually this week, because we're both going on a family vacation. Then I'm starting my junior year the week after getting back from Cancun.

:(

I actually enjoy working, and I don't want to go back to school. There's still a lot of things I want to do. With school, I don't have much time to pursue those things.

For example, for the past few months, I've been writing another short story. It's still a work in progress, and I plan on finishing and publishing it by the end of this year. There's so many ideas scribbled on scrap paper and post its, I can't wait to actually stitch them into a story.

Even though the time is ticking for school, I managed to accomplish a milestone (in my eyes).

This month, I finally uploaded a few videos of myself on my YouTube channel! I was surprised that some of my subscribers actually watched my first video. Even if it was a few people who commented, their support and kind words delighted me. Of course, there's nothing without it's opposite (the people who thumbs down in this case). It doesn't bother me at all, I mean, we are talking about the internet. Plus, everyone's entitled to their opinion.

For my second video, I climbed out my kitchen window...
I won't give it away, so click here to find out what I'm talking about.

The view was nice, and the weather made everything else better. The afternoon air was crisp with the occasional cool breeze. I felt like I could... actually breathe for a while, in the peace and quiet. I was just... hanging.

Above the ground.
Above everything.

Well, almost.

Okay, this is it! Sorry for the abrupt ending, but this is my Summer summarized and generalized. There's still little bits and bobs I want to talk about, like what I did on my free time with friends and things like that. New places I visited and stumbled upon.

Until next time, bye ~

Mushed Thingy Mabob of a Mess ~Part 3

I swear this is the last part and I'll actually go on about how my Summer's going so far!

Catch up on what I've been babbling on, click here for part 1, and here for part 2.

Finally. I'm actually talking about June!

It wasn't the best.

I had to take a breather, which I feel is necessary for many people.

I took time off and away from my best friend. I never went on Skype, and ignored her messages. I just needed to sort things out with myself for a while.

After a month of radio silence, we had a bump in the road between each other.
To be completely honest, it's a conversation that everyone needs.

People just need to check themselves at times, even if it hurts or is hard.

For the 11 years that we've known each other, we've shared things and hid things. In my part, I've hid and pent up a lot of things.

I've thought about having this conversation with my best friend for a long time. When I thought it was time, it was hard to put my words together for her.

Even 10 minutes in, I couldn't breathe properly because my throat started closing up. I had to turn off my microphone and camera (we were video chatting on Skype), to let out a good and long cry.

It's not easy to feel trapped for such a long time, and be shot down constantly and feel like even the closest people can't help you. Mainly because they are the people who shoot you down.

You may not think it's a big deal or anything. But it is for me.
- Ugh, I'm even crying while I'm typing this out -

I had bottled up a lot of things that bothered me about our friendship.
How I didn't feel like she understood how she hurt me in the things she says.
The way she acts.
The way she hurts not only me, but others around her.
How I feel like I can't trust her with anything because of her quick judgment or assumptions.
She may not have realized it then, or even at that time we were having this conversation, but it was time for me to point it out.

This wasn't just me, targeting her. She pointed things out about me as well, and I understood the things she said. It's true. Honestly is honestly, but I still felt like she didn't understand because she turned things on me at times during our conversation. Or maybe she just didn't understand what I was trying to get at. She may have acknowledged it, but didn't let it settle long enough for realization.

I don't want this to sound like I'm being childish, whinny, and putting all the blame on her for making me feel this way. Of course I have things to work on myself, this is just something that I think will make our friendship stronger (in a way).

When you're being honest, it can bring people closer when you know what's on each others minds.

I ended up ending the video call, and continuing the conversation over messages.
A few days after ending the conversation, we eventually talked it out more and gradually went back to the way we were before.

School ended, and Summer arrived.
Ugh, the Summer weather in New York City can be horrible. It gets unbearably humid and moist, which makes the heat even worse.
This is why I love the Winter the most.

Well, this was my June.

:P

I'll talk to you in the next post, where I actually get into my Summer so far (even though it is mid-August).

Sorry about that...

Until then, bye ~

Mushed Thingy Mabob of a Mess ~Part 2

Hello again!

This is the second part of my previous post, which I'm updating you up more on my April and


If you haven't read my previous post, click here.
Okay, so, back to what I left off from...


After April, things died down in May - well, sort of.
My Chinese teacher assigned us a cooking project, where we had to make a cooking video using words we learned in class.

Being the person I am, I decided to do the project by myself because I'm an independent person. I mean, if this is the last and most important project of the marking period - I'm pretty sure you wouldn't want the possibility of other people dragging you down. (That may seem harsh, but we've all been there before when certain people slack off or something. It's not fun for a grade). I settled for a lemon blueberry muffin recipe since it was easy and delicious.



Our teacher thought it would be nice to give us a week or two in advance, since we had a three day weekend to work on the project. She also wanted us to bring in our dishes into class for a potluck on the same day the project's due.

Now, I didn't mind this at all. As someone who likes to be prepared, I didn't want to rush anything.
So I filmed a week before the due date, and the video's turned out well. A few days later, I started to transfer and edit the videos but the files got messed up while it was being compressed. So I ended up with no material to work with.

Great...

Then, I had to remake the video (at least it worked this time) the weekend before the due date. Finally, I had to make a new batch of muffins for the potluck since the previous batch would go bad if they're out too long.

Yup. For one project, I had to make 3 batches of muffins...

Sounds dumb right? But hey, at least I got the highest grade in the class though :D Woo, 99!

Anyways, moving on from my muffin madness...

Later on in the month, I went to an interview for a summer program for film making. I won't say much about this, because I want to talk more about this in another post.

May and June rolled around.
The mid-terms, exams, regents, and other hair ripping stress comes back around again. I remember days where I'd skip lunch to study, or had my face in notes whilst I walked class to class. The endless nights of review, where I didn't even have time to shower.

Some people may not take these exams as serious as me, or they might go farther in an extent.

I use to push myself to do good in school so I can show my parents you know?

To show them that, I actually have potential like my brother.
To show them that, I can be like the other kids that they compare me to.
To show them that...

I. 

Yes...

Me. 
Vicky.
Their daughter. 

Can be smart. Can be hardworking.
Actually, no.
I don't mean "can."

I mean, "am."

I am hardworking.

It never worked though. Honestly, I don't think it ever will.
I don't think I ever will be that kid that parent's brag about.

I don't want to say I'm "sad" about this because, I think that the word "sad" lost it's meaning in the way people use it nowadays.

I've gotten numb.

For example:

In New York City, incoming high schoolers can take the SHSAT's, which is a standardized test to see if you can get into one of the 7 specialized high schools in the city(I think there's more than 7 now). These 7 high schools are considered the top 7 in the whole city.

(Keep in mind, my brother got into one of the top 7 schools).

I asked my mom, what she would do if I got into Stuyvesant (what most people consider as the #1 high school).

Guess what she said.

She didn't say anything, she laughed.

She laughed in my face.
It wasn't a chuckle.
It was a oh-my-fucking-god-I'm-going-to-piss-myself kind of laugh.



It may or may not seem like a big deal to some people. But it messed with me for a long time.

I never told anyone about this.


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I seem to go off on tangents a lot, sorry about that.

:\


At the same time, these things are what I want to share on here.

I want to go on about how my June went, but it'll probably drag this post on too long.
So, there will be a part 3 of this saga.

(Finally, haha).

Anyways, until then.
Bye!

Mushed Thingy Mabob of a Mess ~Part 1

Ayooooo!

Hey guyysssss ~
Oh geez ~ No time no blog (sorry about that).
I know I said I'll try to update you every month, but we all knew that I wouldn't be able to do that >_<

At the same time, I felt like it was boring of me to just tell you the same old same old.

School. Homework. Blah blah blahhhhhhh. The usual.

I want this blog to be interesting for other people to know my story (you know?). So in order to do so, I've decided to be (kinda) more open with my life! It'll be gradual, but it's still a step forward.

ANYways, since March, I've been around the internet (my links are in my bio).
You?

Even though this may seem like a one way conversation, I still want to let you know that I care. Despite me just being letters right now, I don't think a lot of people address that enough.
It's never too late or too early to tell someone.

OKAY. So, since March, I can say that a lot of things had happened! At the same time I don't want to smush everything into a LOOOONNNNNGGG blog post. So I'll probably split it into two.

~ Hence the odd title ~

At the end of March, or the start of April, I found out my uncle died...
The weird thing, is that I didn't cry. I just, don't know how to feel? It's hard to explain.

Don't get me wrong, I miss him.

I mean, 2 years before, me and my family went to visit China. Nervously, that was the first time I've been on a plane. Let alone, my first time going to China! D:

For a month, we all traveled to Hong Kong, Beijing, and Guangzhou together with my uncle. And that was the first time I've seen him for years. He was pretty cool, unlike most of my awkward relatives. We've had our laughs and stuff, I think it's because he works with teens half of the time for work.

Now, he's just gone.
I get to start thinking about all these questions.

What did he last eat?
What did he last say?
Was he actually happy with his life?

For a Cantonese family, or maybe for families in general, death is unspoken. Names are forbidden to be mentioned or talked about. That's probably one thing that bothers me. I can't even know how my aunt feels, or thinks!
That explains why most of my friends don't feel connected to their families in comparison to others. We're all bottled up in our own little worlds, and only talk when we need to. Those conversations rarely have much meaning though.

The way he passed away was even worse...
I won't say, but it'll not the way someone would want to say goodbye.
All I want is to know that things are okay sometimes. Despite talking alone behind glass walls.

Soon after we got the news, my mom flew out to China for 2 and a half weeks with my aunt and grandma. Leaving me and my brother to fend for ourselves. My dad was around, but he basically works 24/7. So we didn't get to see him much anyways.

The dark and quiet was nice.

In other news...

On April 21st, I had one of the most exciting days in a long time. The short film that I've been working with other students from my school, has been screened at Tribeca Teaches 2015 Screening! (Wow that's a mouthful to say, or type?).

The whole team got to skip school to go to the red carpet and watch other films of the Tribeca Teaches program. (Which sounds great because, school can be boring. At the same time, catching up with notes is a nightmare X__X).

Can you see the carpet?

Can you smell the red?
Such nervous.
Much awkward.

Our film's about a girl who faces her bully in high school that constantly tears her down emotionally and mentally. As the film plays out, you see how she copes with it. Eventually, you find out that the bully is herself. From self loathing to misinterpretations from others.

We chose this topic because not a lot of people talk about it, or is acknowledging it. It's kind of like a subject matter that most people try to shy away. From the small team I got to learn and spend time with for half a year, I can defiantly notice how this topic also hits home with us. We all put in ourselves into the film somehow, either from personal experience or knowledge that enhances the story line. Even for me, I think the topic is very close to my heart and mind.

This may not be the best film for amateur starters, but it's still something I'm really proud of taking part in. Others may or may not understand it 100%, at least we know what it means to us (in a way).

Oh! My mom got back from China that afternoon as well ~ Yay, the nagging saga continues!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Speaking of famous people?
Is that a good segaway?
Probably not.

The day after the screening, was amazing! The Sorted Food guys were in New York City to launch their #LostandHungry tour. I don't know about you, but I'm SO EXCITED to see what they get up to.

After getting home, they announced on Twitter and Snapchat that they were going to do a meet up in Bryant Park the next day. Normally, I wouldn't be able to stay out late because of my parents. Although... they don't need to know... right?

I told them I had a badminton game that day X__X and I got home around 9pm. There was a good amount of people so that you can still have conversation with the boys, but it took quite some time getting pictures with all 4 of them.

Yea... that's my face!
I finally decided to show my face :P

I mean, if I want to put my work and my life out there. I want you to know me. There's plenty to come, don't worry. This is barely scratching the surface. I'm planning on starting up my YouTube channel by the end of this month, which is technically in a few days...

Beside the Dan and Phil radio recordings, I want my channel to be more than that. Since I love photography and film, I want YouTube to be my main starting platform to release my work.

I don't do it for (what some people might assume) money or fame. It's just a way for me to put the work I enjoy doing, out into the world. The worst thing is for someone to misinterpret this into something that isn't true.

BESIDES THAT, they were really nice! Excitement and energy was buzzing in the conversations about #LostandHungry.

** Vicky from the future: Since April, I met them again for the end of the #LostandHungry tour! That's for part 2 of this post though. **

That's pretty much for this post! I'll get through more of my April, May, June and July for the next one (part 2)
:)

Until then, bye ~

Mind Numbing Thoughts

Hey!

How's it been?

Crappy? Boring? Tiring? Stressful?

Yea, me too.

Do you sometimes think that we spend so much time living through the same routine, and that we should spend more time doing things that we enjoy?

I do.

I spend countless hours that I can never get back, doing schoolwork, studying, and so on. Whereas, I could be writing, exploring, crafting, and so much more. Sadly, I don't have time for it. This then leads me into a repetitive lifestyle, and leaves me dreading the next day.

But we shouldn't be living this life, if we're only going to waste time rolling our eyes at what the next day will bring (I know, I know - never use 'but' at the start of a sentence - but this isn't a formal essay or paper, it's my own thoughts and words).

It's VERY cheesy when people say that you should "live life to it's fullest."

Honestly, we can all admit that living life to it's fullest is hard when you have work, school, internal issues, and other problems that fate/life loves to throw at you.

As a pessimistic person and existentialist, I cannot fathom how many times I wanted to believe that something great would happen to me.

That sort of explains why I never "hope" or "wish" that things would happen.
For example, I never say "I wish you a happy birthday," or "I hope you'll have a great day."

I can't guarantee you a "happy" birthday, nor can I guarantee you a "great" day.
It's like that episode of "Drake & Josh."



Do you understand what I'm getting at?
Maybe?

:P

~~~~~~~~~~~

Wow, I went into a dark tangent right there...

(I also don't like saying, "that was so deep." The way that "deep" is being used, is like how I feel when people say, "that was mad crazy.")

While I'm still talking about the dark abyss of life, let's jump into it anyways. I mean, we're already here.
Why not?

(I mean, figuratively...)

Remember Alfie's video, "10 Years Time"?

Well, this was my comment...

It's really cheesy, I know.

If you think about it, it's weird.
In 5/6 months, I'd be a junior in high school...
I'd be taking the SAT's, thinking of which college is best for me.
Then, I'd be a senior.

It's really over whelming.

Who knows what I'll do next week, next month, let alone 10 years...

~~~~~~~~~~~

I want to leave a (slightly) lighter tone to this post.

(Although, I do want you to understand that I'm writing on this blog because I want others [you] to somewhat know and understand me. I won't go back into details, my reasons were in January post if you're curious).

:P

This kinda transitions into Zoe's book, "Girl Online" (which I'm sure you've heard about).

I finally got my hands on her book, and Hannah Hart's cookbook too! :D

I've only read the first chapter of Zoe's book, and there was a part in the beginning that really depicts why I started this blog.

I've also wrote a lot in my diaries, and felt the same.

I mainly started this blog, so that I could say that I wanted without feeling scared.

I want to do that with my YouTube channel too, and be able to show my face without fear or judgement. Not yet though, but soon.

~~~~~~~~~~~

Wow, I'm always off track (sorry).

So!

What are you're plans for next week? Any spring break plans?

My mom's leaving for 3 weeks to visit her family and for my uncle's funeral.

~ I know... I don't seem to have any sense of a "lighter tone" to this post ~

Anyways, that means that my brother and I have to fend for ourselves while our dad's at work. Which means that I have to do most of the cooking, whilst he stays on his computer 24/7.

I might have badminton practice at school over the break, just like my mid-winter break.

~ SIGH ~

The season started last week, and I'm exhausted from all the games and practices.
Fun fun fun...
x__x

Do you have any favorite songs/artists at the moment?

Well, these are my favorites from Spotify...

1. "All of #OneSongAWeek" by Frank Hamilton
2. "Friday I'm in love" by The Cure
3. "Light's Out (Deluxe Edition)" by Ingrid Michaelson

That's pretty much that's going on in my life, how about you?
Comment down below on what's going on with you~

Until then, bye!

Valentines Day Fail

Hello!

I'm back again, are you sick of me yet? XD

Did anything interesting happen to you within the last time I updated my blog? If so, let me know in the comment section below :)

For me, it's always the same and boring routine.
Go to school. Eat. Sleep. Work.
~ And it repeats continuously ~

The only thing "fun" that happened to me, was on Valentines day.

OOOOOOOOOHHHH, juicy ;)
HA, not.

I don't know about you, but I find Valentines day pointless.
If you love someone, it should be all year round and not just on one day. I believe that Valentines day is just one way to target buyers and make money.

Anyways, on Valentines day, I had to go out in the morning for badminton practice at school.
Even though it was a Saturday, AND the beginning of our Mid-Winter break, that didn't give my coaches a excuse not to practice for the upcoming games.

I left around 11:30 AM to tag along with a few friends that wanted to go shopping at 12, so I just walked around to kill some time.
But of course, they were late by an hour and a half.
-_____-

I spent about a hour just walking around in the cold, freezing my fingers and toes off.

Now you would think...
"Vicky, why didn't you just go into a cafe or something to warm up?"

BELIEVE ME, I did!
I stayed at a Dunkin' Donuts for the last half hour before my friends arrived, but the previous hour, I found it too awkward for me to just sit there all alone. Plus, I barely had any money on me. So it would be even more awkward if I sat there, without buying something.

O___O     You know what I mean?

I love my friends, but they're NEVER ON TIME. That's one of my biggest pet peeves, along with people who chew their nails, when metal's scrapping each other, people who don't close their mouth when they chew-AGHH- okay, I'm going to stop.

By the time 2 (out of 3) of my friends got to our meet up spot, I couldn't feel my fingers and toes. It was even snowing!
Anyways, we started walking to SOHO, when our last friend called, saying that she was at our meet up spot.

~ Facepalm ~

While I was trying to figure out how to meet up, we realized that the main store that we wanted to shop at, was closed.

CLOSED.
As in packed up, moved out, and empty.

Inside my head, I was SCREAMING. I DID NOT JUST WASTE MY TIME, JUST FOR THIS TO HAPPEN.

We just ended up meeting up the our last friend, and walked to a Vietnamese restaurant in Chinatown. We actually go there often as a group, so it was nice to be in a familiar place.

At that point, we finally had the chance to defrost.

Even though the whole shopping idea was completely ruined, it's still nice to just sit down and talk with each other over food.

~ The aftermath ~

That's pretty much my whole February, hope it was worth your time :P
(If it wasn't, I won't blame you).

Haha, I know you hate me because you thought that my "Valentines Day Fail" was going to be more interesting.

Until next month, I'll talk to you later!

(Happy Lunar New Year, Mardi Gras/Pancake Day, or even just your break from school!)

Another Year

Hey!

I haven't spoken to you since last year, (yeah, I know, I'm rolling my eyes at that joke as well).
I can't believe that two months have passed so quickly, and as I predicted, I didn't update my blog during December.

How was your holiday?
Did you spend time with your family? Friends?

For me, I spent most of the time doing homework.
Yup.
I've got to say, that was EXTREMELY fun (not).

However, one thing that was AMAZING, was that I went ice skating with my friends in Central Park!
It was pretty surreal for me.

~ The view from above ~

It's kind of weird because, I've always watched movies and shows about couples skating in Central Park at night. Or skating together, and resting while sipping hot chocolate. And out of all those "perfect" images of a "perfect" winters night, I never imagined myself skating in Central Park.

I mean, I have ice skated before. I've skated in Bryant Park and Rockefeller Center, but those were the only times I've ice skated. And those memories were years ago. Now that I look back, since December, I haven't skated in about 6 years! I had roller skates, but it never felt the same. Ya know? (idk)...

Even though I didn't have an ice skating experience like the movies, it was really fun. There was hot chocolate and food though, so that was a good enough for me.
Two out of the many cups of hot chocolate :)

I actually dragged my friends to go ice skating with me, because the ice skating rink in Central Park was holding an event that I wanted to go to FOR YEARS.

I've listened to a specific radio station (106.7 Lite FM) ever since I was a little kid, and they held an ice skating event in Central Park for a few years. At the event, you could meet the radio personalities/presenters, get free food & drinks, (and of course) ice skate.

I would listen to the station at night, when it was presented by Delilah. She would sooth me to sleep sometimes, because she had such a calming voice. The station would play romantic songs that I've grown to love. I think that's why I'm such a different person when compared to other people. I've listened to A LOT of 80's songs while I grew up (haha).

I was SO determined to meet Delilah, that I dragged my friends to the rink at 10 in the morning, and we waited until 3 in the afternoon.

YEA, 5 hours of skating, sitting, talking, eating, and drinking.
While being in different high schools, it was nice to spend time together.

Eventually, I got to meet Delilah! It was AMAZING, to meet someone that brought me up when I was feeling down. My heart was beating really fast and my hands were trembling, but I felt so happy after meeting her. I even got her autograph!
I think I might go back this year :)

~ I mean how CUTE is that!? I think it's the iguana from Tangled, dressed in a Christmas outfit ~



I think this is the bridge from one of the "Home Alone" movies (right? Idk, maybe). This reminds me of "Eloise at the plaza" and "Eloise at Christmastime," the hotel that they filmed the movie in, is actually nearby to where I took this picture.
I remember watching these movies during the holidays :) Now, I do a small tradition with myself. Where, I would watch all my favorite Christmas movies before the year ended. "Polar Express" and "How the Grinch Stole Christmas!" are my favorites as well.

ANYWAYS, I don't know if I bored you or anything, but I'll continue with whatever I'm trying to talk about.

This is my overview of 2014 (feel free to comment yours down below!)

I've learned who my true friends really were, the people that will be by my side through the thick and thin.
I've learned to accept that everyone and everything will change in their own ways, whether I like it or not.
I've made many (and I mean many) mistakes, but I've learned many things from them.

I've worried a lot about so many things.
I've stressed out over a lot of things.
I've cried over a lot of things.
I've been numb over a lot of things.

There's been a lot of hard days.

I can't deny that. You might feel the same, you might not.
Listening to music and writing, has probably been the only good thing going on in my life so far.
Oh! And food! I will never forget that.

~ Haha, that reminds me of the episode of Friends, where someone ate Ross's sandwich ~



I don't know if anyone will actually read my posts, or if anyone knows my name.
But if you do, I want to thank you.

(I know that sounds really cheesy, but...)

It's nice to know that someone is taking time out of their day, to get to know me. Even though it's just me, blabbing on about pointless things that's going on in my life. I'm not here to complain or for you to feel sorry for me, that's one thing that I want you to know.
I just want to be myself somewhere, somehow, and to (maybe) relate to you.

There are about 7 billion people in the world, and I know that there are other people who feel the same way I do (Ugh, I hate how this sounds like a #firstworldproblem [let me cringe, I actually used a hash tag, barf]).


Although, there has been a few times where things haven't been so crappy.

1. I met Alfie Deyes
2. I met Delilah
3. I finished and published my Luke Hemmings fanfic !!!! I've also been working on fanfics about the rest of 5SOS and YouTubers (look out for those in the future).
4. Food
6. Tumblr
7. YouTubers
8. FOOD

This year, I know that there will be more stress and work.
However, I'm looking forward in working on other things that make me happy.

I don't know if that's for sure, but we'll both find out won't we?


Okay, I think I'm done waffling on about whatever I'm trying to say.

I'll TRY to update once a month (HA! Yeah, I laughed too).

Until then, bye!

P.S. Sorry if you want to behead me because I kept saying "I've," I know, I'm cringing too.